things fixed in the edit

I am doing an edit pass on a story appearing later this year. Here are, essentially, patch notes.

• the protagonist will no longer accidentally transform into a water feature
• tenses have been normalized
• anachronistic city lighting decisions have been revised
• the lake has been removed
• there is now a transition to mark the appearance of the unhallowed dead
• the camel is no longer abandoned forlornly

This is why editors are very important and wonderful people.